2014

2013 was full of more love, triumph and running than any other year before it. At the beginning of the year, I was about to leave my first (and probably last) ever corporate job to start working at a local hospital. After only a few months, I left that job to bartend and freelance.

As a beginning bartender, the hours and fluctuating pay have been challenging, but knowing I don't have to keep office hours can be its own reward. Technique-wise, it's been so fun to begin mastering the basics and working towards a deeper understanding of the foundations and science that underpin it. However, the combined time constraints of Adam's and my work often mean that we can go days without seeing each other for more than five minutes. During this upcoming year, I will set my priorities and honor them as such.

I also began treating my writing like a business and building it accordingly. This approach has expanded my market significantly and given me a bit of financial wiggle room. Connections within my network have afforded an online column for mental_floss, pieces for a gorgeous wedding magazine and a continued relationship with my first freelance client. In 2014, I'll build my market and marketable (writing) skill set even further.

This year also marked the start of my journey to become a runner. It hasn't been easy or extremely consistent, but it's consistently demonstrated the necessity of exercise. I haven't been blogging much about writing or running recently because I had too much material. Once that had passed, I didn't have enough so I stayed away. That changes in 2014. Instead of trying to continue a breakneck pace of personal blogging, I'm cutting back.

Each week, I will be posting twice: one Cocktail of the Week post and one running or writing post. Two posts each week will provide a stable schedule (hopefully) without giving me an excuse to skip runs. 2014 looks different than any previous year, but it looks pretty nice from here. Bring it on, 2014. Bring it on.

Not-so-needful things

It's come to my attention that I'm hard to shop for. Personally, I think my interests are pretty straightforward, but if I need something, I'm not going to wait for a holiday. If I can afford it, I'm likely to buy it immediately. So, here's a list of the nonessentials I've got my eye on right now by category of interest:

• For running, I'm looking out for deals on GPS watches and extra pairs of running tights and headbands. Though I haven't been the best at keeping up with running during the deadline crunch, it'd be good to stock up for the cooler months to come.
• Writing-wise, I need to update my business casual wardrobe. Some of the pieces in it were purchased when I was a completely different shape. Since I'm cheap and hate shopping, it'll probably be a while before this need is met.
• Though I get a lot of practice bartending while I'm on shift, I should probably stock my home bar. After purchasing a mixing spoon and shaker tins of my own, I'm getting closer, but I need to also stock vermouth, fruit, syrups, strainers, bitters and rum. My wishlist is also full of bartending books: Gary Regan's The Joy of Mixology, David Wondrich's Punch! and Imbibe!, David Embury's The Fine Art of Mixing Drinks, to name a few.

Let's be honest: I'm probably not going to leave my couch today. I don't like the concept or execution of Black Friday and therefore will not be participating if I can avoid it. I hope your Black Friday is similarly relaxing!

Manifesting a manifesto

Outside of blogging personally, I maintain a laser focus on my goals. I'm pretty damn good at managing my time and resources and forming connections with interesting, diverse people. On here, though, I've held on to the idea that I could write whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and use this website as a personal portfolio.

Once I formulated a set editorial schedule, I started working past my mental blocks and got in a blogging routine. It didn't evolve how I thought it would, but it evolved into my writing about topics I care about deeply and talk about often. With that in mind, I've put together a kind of manifesto of my intentions for this blog:

This blog is a record of my journey as a writer, runner and bartender. It will be an honest accounting of my life, even when the truth is uncomfortable. It's my place to show kindness and love for others, to strive to be a better person and to learn everything I can that will add value to my life. It will also accurately showcase my talents as a writer -- even when I'm so busy I want to get off my schedule. Lastly, it will continue to serve as a point of connection with other amazingly talented writers in the community.

As I keep saying, I can't wait to see what other connections writing will add to my life. After two years of wonderful things, it can only get better from here.

A love letter to my quadriceps

Dear Quads, As I've started running, you've become extremely helpful in powering through every single run. Through this process, you've endured inconsistent exercise, worn out shoes and long days to keep me upright. When I first saw that you'd become defined, I thought I'd worn a dent in my legs from leaning against wells while bartending.

You were my first proof that running has changed my body, and that I'm stronger than I've ever been. Don't get jealous that I've resumed weight training -- I'd like for the rest of my body to match your strength and definition. As I keep running, it will help prevent injury and also relax the rest of me.

Please continue to be nice when I break out the foam roller. Unlike some of your comrades (cough cough IT band), you don't regularly cause me agonizing pain on the torture wheel. It's a relatively new development, I know, but it'll be good for the both of us, OK?

Unless you develop to a freakish size, I'm really looking forward to showing you off next Spring. I've got several pairs of shorts that will flaunt your angled beauty, so don't get too crazy, mmkay? My clothing budget's currently nonexistent and I can't really spring for much of anything. While you're at it, tell the rest of your comrades the same thing. I'm already tiring of baggy winter clothing, and I don't want to find the same thing when it warms up.

Love,

Clair

Today's #bloglikecrazy topic was to celebrate a part of my body. I chose my quads -- that's not too weird, right?

How to change your form

After attending a running form clinic, I was informed that I was "caught in the marathon shuffle." My knees weren't driving forward much at all, and the rest of my body was compensating. As a result, I burn more energy than necessary and am not building strength or endurance effectively. The report from the clinic also outlined ways to start changing my stride, and I found that many items were applicable in both running and writing.

• One step at a time. It's difficult to focus on more than one thing at a time while you're running, so consciously work to change one aspect of your form at a time. For writing, choose one stylistic element to tweak whether it's your diction, syntax or grammar. The tiny changes will add up.
• Be mindful. Your body and writing won't stand up well to abuse. Work towards change; don't try to force it all at once. You're liable to get burned out and/or injured.
• Research experts' advice. Just like in writing, you have to research authors' credentials and backgrounds. Their information will inform how you treat your body or body of work, so choose and implement information only from trusted sources.
• Don't fight it. Yes, you're trying to change ingrained behavior patterns. No, it's not going to be particularly easy. Change happens, and with some direction on your part, it can ensure better results.
• Uncomfortable is normal, overwhelming pain is not. Running through minor pain and cramping is par for the course. If the pain gets unbearable or overwhelming, slow down. You'll be out of the game longer with a compound injury than you would if you slow your training. Likewise, writing in new areas can expand your boundaries as an author, but if an article topic makes you downright uncomfortable, it might not be a good fit. Your emotional health is more important.

Running (and singing) in the rain

Last Sunday's three miler was my first run in the rain. Coupled with temperate temperatures, the rain added an element of whimsy and fun to my long run. Watch out, world. I've just uncovered a socially acceptable way to play in the rain as an adult. On a more serious note, I got lucky. The sun set around the two mile mark, and despite the wet and my clumsiness, I didn't fall or twist a joint or run into any long-hanging branches. My steps were sure, and I was still comfortable afterwards. Adam and I had started our respective runs at the same time, and I finished shortly after he did.

I also ran the last mile too fast. The rain made me feel unstoppable and a little giddy, so I went a little faster. It also reminded me that I don't suck at running and that even longer runs can be pleasant. After two weeks of plodding through fairly uncomfortable bouts with exercise, it was really refreshing to feel comfortable and confident in my physical abilities.

As a result, I've had a pretty good week for running so far, but I want to stay positive. I'm also going to start gradually adding in weight training again to make sure that my entire body gets stronger, not just my legs. If it follows the pattern it has in the past, it should also help relax my shoulders and upper back -- areas where I carry most of my stress.

For the first time in a while, I'm excited and actively planning to exercise. My calendar is filling up with reminders to exercise and the distance or workout that I need to complete. It's also starting to feel like more of a reward for doing good work with writing and bartending rather than an obligation, and for that, I couldn't be happier.

Today's title is a play on "Singing in the Rain." Since I often sing and dance along to my music while I run, I thought it was only appropriate.

How to change your attitude

Last week, I took advantage of a sale at a local running shop and scooped up a pair of new kicks. After nine months of using the same tennis shoes for both exercise and work, it was past time. While I was barbacking, I found that I was walking more than four miles a night when we were busy. Combined with about five miles of running, I was logging 18-20 miles on the shoes every week.

It's not surprising, then, that they started bottoming out six months later. As they wore down, my knee pain increased and my ability to run through it wore down. After a week of too much activity in general, my body doesn't handle physical activity well. It's not healthy, and I tend to crash for at least one day each week. The result?

I haven't been running on a regular basis because of the residual pain and fatigue, so I haven't built up the energy or physical addiction to running. Without these incentives, it's much more difficult to run, and a viscous cycle continues.

To give myself an incentive to run, I got those new shoes. Though it was only went a mile, my first run in them was virtually pain free. I'm going out today to get some super sexy restaurant/medical clogs for my bartending shifts to ease the wear on both my shoes and my legs. I'm also going running again for longer time- and distance-wise.

As my dad says, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Getting into distance running is the same way -- it will never be possible for me to run a half marathon if I don't run for shorter spells now. Food, hydration and other elements necessary to running regularly will follow. Once a regular routine is established in each of these areas, I'll be just about unstoppable.

It all began with those new shoes. They might not actually have magical properties, but they're still shiny and I'm not accustomed to seeing them on my feet. Hopefully that will be enough to keep me on my toes.

Suck it up, buttercup

I'm not a morning person. Combined with my bartending schedule, my preference for being productive starting around noon usually means I don't go running until the hottest part of the day. During the summer, that means I'm running in high temperatures and stupidly humid conditions. If there's a hell, I'm pretty sure mine would include daily runs at 2 PM in July in Alabama. Since the temperatures have cooled a little, my problems have changed slightly. Now, knee pain, overwork and poor hydration have me almost constantly laid out. As an aside, the first two weeks of training with Resolute Running felt good. Each run caused soreness, but recovery was quick and relatively painless. Since I caught the superbug/evil snot monster infestation, running and working have just made me very tired.

Right now, I'm frustrated. It seems that almost everything I do is exhausting, and running just heightens it. Running has never been my favorite past time, but it's always been bearable. For a while, it was invigorating, empowering and sometimes even refreshing. I needed it.

Now, it almost feels like a task. I've depleted my sleep reserve and don't know how to get my equilibrium back. What I do know is that I'll start by going for  a short run today and, let's be honest, follow it with a nap. At some point, though, I'd really like to not feel quite so tired.

Title today comes from a quasi-inspirational saying. Got any tips for beating exhaustion? Leave them in the comments!

Jamming out

As the air gets crisp, establishing or ramping up a regular running routine is easier than ever. Without the draining summer heat, most weather-related excuses for not doing so may just melt away. One way to get motivated is to strictly designate a running playlist. To make it exercise exclusive, save these songs for running -- and only running. Not playing them during work or driving will deepen the association between cardio and those particular songs.

Just like signaling your body that it's time for work, music can immediately switch your brain into beast mode. If you're listening to the same music during work or your commute, your brain may very well kick into autopilot rather than getting yourself fired up to run.

According to an article from Scientific American, "music distracts people from pain and fatigue, elevates mood, increases endurance, reduces perceived effort and may even promote metabolic efficiency." Without caffeine or any other performance enhancing drugs, your abilities jump. However, the same article also states that someone's associations with particular songs are more important even than the tempo of the music itself.

Over the past century, more than 100 studies have been performed on the effect of music on athleticism. One of the most consistent findings was the use of music as a pacing mechanism -- its beat can be the driving force to longer and more effective exercise.

However, listening to music while running in a public area does have its downside; blasting music into headphones can overwhelm automobile noise and make you less aware of your surroundings. As well, using music to push the boundaries of your athletic ability can also lead to injury or overexertion.

To be safe, use music like you would any other tool -- carefully and with proper form. If those two guidelines are met, you should be able to reap the benefits without serious consequences. Today, I'm putting together a new running playlist to get pumped up for the next few weeks of scheduled runs.

Have any tips for improving motivation? Leave them in the comments!

Run, write and repeat

As you may have gathered, I started running regularly a few months ago. Recently, the change in season and position in the service industry left me susceptible to illness. Over the past week, a particularly nasty cold left me exhausted and unable to function, so this week I'll focus on what running has taught me about writing.

• Be careful about Internet sources. Since Pinterest became popular, running and exercise plans are readily available. As with anything else, make sure that the source is a reliable expert in the field. Just as an unreliable training program can get you hurt physically, writing based on unverified sources can cripple your career.
• Practice smarter, not harder. Flailing around in running can lead to a satisfying tiredness, but it doesn't build endurance or speed. In writing, undirected practice does little to build a professional portfolio. In the long run, both can do more harm than good. Stay focused, and your directed practice will build your chops.
• Balance your physical and mental health. Balance is a buzzword in both fitness and entrepreneurship for a reason. Runners and freelancers alike suffer when they're unable to practice, so making time to do both is integral to your success.
• Find fun in your work/running. Exercise is necessary to your focus and longevity, but running can sometimes seem as tedious as editing poorly written medical copy. Listening to trashy music, running a new trail or even treating yourself to new running duds can break you out of a rut.
• Pace yourself. You're in this for the long haul, so practice accordingly. If you start to feel yourself getting burned out, take a step back. Consider saying no to new commitments so you can effectively manage your time. Write or exercise a little bit every day to keep yourself in shape.

Got any other tips? Leave them in the comments!

How to slow down

Sometimes, you slow down your pace to build endurance. Other times, you slow down your activities and your life because illness or pain require it. Last Saturday, I ran three miles for the first time. By itself, that run was the longest distance and time I have ever completed. At a few points, I wanted to give up, to go back to my car and go home. Though my knee and ankle twinged a few times, the pain had subsided within 30 minutes of being home. During the second mile, my pace got difficult. I wanted badly to go faster, to run at the pace I was used to. But I didn't -- I slowed back down and was able to keep going when my side cramped up and my knee tightened. Back in my world of freelancing, bartending and tutoring, I was finding the same thing. By scheduling out every single work commitments, I could also find  time to rest.

This week, rest has been especially important. I was unusually tired after my run on Saturday, but social commitments required me to stay awake and cognizant. A couple days later, the tiredness had progressed into a head cold. Luckily, the cold was short-lived, and forced me into an even slower pace in my work and runs.

Next week, I'll need all the energy I can muster. I have three paid deadlines, three blog posts, four runs and four shifts at work. Needless to say, pacing will all important, and as a result, I have already scheduled most of my commitments down to the hour. It may be a slightly obsessive response, but it's the healthiest coping mechanism I have.

For the next few days, my social media presence will be lessened. It may seem counterproductive, but planning out every run and writing assignment will ease some of the associated pressures. This balance will be crucial for my ability to rest and recover from this darn head cold. Going slowly right now will not only allow me to build back my health, but also to get in shape and hopefully to prevent future illness.

Running into the wall

After completing my first race last week, I kicked off my new and improved training schedule with a few days of sickness and gentle cross training. It definitely wasn't the hard-hitting regimen I wanted to start, but I made do. At this point, I shouldn't have been surprised. Since school started, I've either tutored or bartended each weeknight and freelance during the day. The workload is manageable when I don't run several miles on four hours' sleep. Lesson learned. Those four days off made for a rough first run. I started out way too fast and had to walk most of the second mile. The second run of the week was slightly better paced, but was pretty short.

Yesterday, I completed the first run on my shiny, new, professionally-made training schedule. It was at an easy pace, but let me tell you, running is tough. I fought the pace for most of the mile (yes, just one), and was just as sweaty and out of breath as if I had run much faster or longer. It's not fun, but it will increase my endurance and make me a better runner over the long term.

After running came the foam rolling and, as usual, lots of cursing. My workout schedule for the rest of the week includes a long, slow run, hip strengthening workout and speed work -- all new to me. Also new is a weekly check in with my coach, Ann Thomas, to discuss my progress and shortcomings in that week's workouts. Up to this point, I've only been accountable in running to myself and the Internet, and honestly, I need more.

For the next few weeks, I'm not making any drastic or life-altering decisions outside of this plan. Upping my weekly mileage will be a big accomplishment, and sticking to a schedule will help me to get back into the healthy exercise habit I've been trying to cultivate for so long. After that point, the sky's the limit.

Have any running or cross training tips to share? Leave them in the comments!

How (not) to run a 5K

Last Saturday, I ran my first 5K. Though I did walk at some points during the Monkey C Monkey Run race, I ran every hill and beat my time goal. That said, I didn't care for myself well in the days leading up to the race. In fact, I could have injured myself badly during the race due to my stupidity.

In the future, I will get a good night's sleep before a race. Last Saturday, I worked a bar shift, and got four hours of sleep. Adam drove me to the race so I didn't have to stress out about parking or having an accident, but I get even clumsier when I don't rest.

I will pace my first mile better so I don't burn through all of my energy. Even though I beat my time goal, my energy level was shot for the rest of the day. Interval training will also help me to build endurance so I'm not bedridden for the weekend.

Speaking of training, I will do more cross training and yoga. After the race, I didn't cool down properly. Even after 45 minutes with my torture tube -- errr -- foam roller, my gluteus maximus is still pretty sore. Again, it's something that I usually do religiously, but my sleep deprived brain rejected stretching in favor of huddling under a towel during breakfast.

Despite the number of silly ways I undermined my race, I did do a few things right. The day before, I over-hydrated. I stretched out well before work and stuck to the dinner and snacks I had packed. I ran once early this week, and worked out my core so I wouldn't fatigue my legs.

After setting a benchmark time, I have signed up for another race on November 16th. By that time, I will most likely have started training for a half marathon (a what? a half marathon). Right now, I think this distance will be more of a challenge than anything, but I have an amazing resource in the coaches and classes at Resolute Running. Just knowing that I'm not training alone is a huge comfort.

When I race in November, I plan to run the entire route without stopping and to improve my time. These goals may be modest, but they're doable as long as I exercise regularly. The bump in energy and productivity that regular activity can provide me with the impetus to work through my to do list and to set new goals. From there, the possibilities are endless.

Do or do not. There is no try

Since I graduated college, I have resisted defining myself by my job title. After being raised to be the author of my own story, the idea of describing my identity with others' words makes me feel like some manic pixie dream girl. Once I quit my day job to bartend and freelance, I have fewer reservations about shaping titles like these to fit my life.

Not using these titles became an excuse. Denying that I am a writer and a runner gives me the slack I need to put off blog posts and speed drills. Not admitting these parts of my identity gives me the room to fail without fear of consequence. If I'm not a writer, having a pitch ignored or rejected is just part of being an amateur freelancer. If I'm not a runner, spending the afternoon on my couch instead of the sidewalk isn't neglecting a training routine, it's personal care.

The truth is that I am both a writer and a runner. My spreadsheet of story ideas and markets won't pitch itself, and I'll never be able to run 3.11 miles if I don't lace up. Pretending that I have no responsibility to these titles won't cut it anymore. I simply can't ignore it anymore.

Tonight I work my first solo bartending shift at Octane. Though I haven't been too hesitant about calling myself a bartender, I qualify the title by adding "baby" or "in training." Truthfully, I will be learning new parts of the craft during every shift I work. If I keep using a qualified title now, I may never stop, further hindering my ability to hone my skills.

Needless to say, the denial and qualifications stop now. I am a writer, runner and bartender, and should direct my energy to develop these abilities instead of denying them. It's about damn time.

Today's title comes from Yoda's speech to Luke.

Running for fun?

I fall into certain practices and habits very quickly. Unfortunately, exercise and fashion are the exceptions to that rule, so starting any sort of program or regular routine is very difficult. After I started running with Adam on Sundays, it was as much to my surprise as his when I began running with another friend during the week.

Then I was invited to go to a group class at Resolute Running, a Homewood-based running gym. Even when I could barely run a mile, they encouraged me to call myself a runner. During that time, Adam challenged me to push myself in running the way I push myself to do better in every other aspect of my life. At first, I was offended. These runs allowed me to wallow in my lack of athleticism instead of working out.

Once I thought about it for a time, I made the choice to push myself just a little bit more, but also to cross train and be mindful of my joints. After only four weeks, I could run almost 1.5 miles without stopping or severe joint pain. Though it might not sound like much, I am now regularly running longer routes than have compromised my knees in the past.

My goal is currently to run a 5K, then to work with a coach at Resolute Running to come up with a plan for a half marathon (a what?). I have recently purchased an actual athletic shirt, and have plans to go running in Philadelphia while I'm in there.

For me, continuing to run is now like sticking with physics in college. Neither of these things come easily to me, and I've poked fun of individuals who were masochistic enough to push through on either path. Finishing my physics degree became one of the biggest challenges I've ever faced, and completing it extremely satisfying.

It is my hope that crossing the finish line at my first 5K will be just as much of a rush. At this point, maybe I'll start actually calling myself a runner. Maybe. Until then, I'll keep going for runs.

A pocket-sized practice

When I told Carla Jean Whitley that my chiropractor had strongly suggested I do more yoga, she said, "I like your chiro." A few minutes later, Carla Jean suggested the Pocket Yoga app. She is an avid yogi, so I took her word that the app was solid and paid my $3 for the download. For its price, the app's offerings are substantial. Since it is a phone-based app, the location of its use is only limited by your phone's battery life. The user can select the duration and difficulty of each of the five preset practices. Each sequence is accompanied by soothing background music, and more difficult poses are shown  from different sides for the user to better imitate the stance.

A list of poses organized by type of movement, difficulty or name is also available. Each physical position and its benefits is described in detail. This app is most useful for people who have taken a couple professionally led classes and are passingly familiar with the basic poses. So far, it has provided variety to my practice while my budget tightened.

However, the app does have a few downsides. The narrator's intonation of "inhaaaaale" and "exhaaaaale" is mildly annoying. Part of each sequence I've tried has an extended period where the user alternates between two poses. The repetition builds core and back strength, but can be tedious after a while.

Most busy yogis can find time for a 30 minute practice at home even if they do not have time for an hour-long class at a local studio. With the cost of both transport and the classes themselves, this app can be a good supplement to a regular group practice.

Disclaimer: All opinions expressed in this review were my own. I was not compensated for writing it.

EDITED REPOST: Activity vs. fitness

Fitness is inherently social. From weight rooms to running groups to spin classes, the gym can be a great place to connect with others who share your goals. Like social media, it can be a good place to start conversations that require further face time to complete.  I, on the other hand, am active. During office hours I move as much as possible and probably burn hundreds of calories from the stress of mini-commutes between tutoring lessons.

In the world of new media, social media is becoming an integral part the fitness process. The same people who over share about their lives in general usually treat physical activity the same way (“Headed to the gym! LOL #workinonmyfitness”). Others use social media networks to build a network of accountability.

Likewise, gyms and groups have begun using Facebook and Twitter to connect with potential clients. Inspire Fitness in Southside is one of those places. I was invited to try Inspire by Gabe Rios, deputy director of Lister Hill Library and one of the co-owners of the gym. I took one of his Friday Happy Hour spin classes last year and (miraculously) made it through. Gabe’s class gave me a runner’s high for the first time in too long.

Two years ago, I had the pleasure of writing an article on Magic City Cycle Chix, a local women’s cycling group. Since Kim Cross started this Facebook group in January 2011, this community has grown to almost 600 members and has put on some awesome programs. Unfortunately, I have not had the chance to attend any of the workshops they've hosted, but I have it on good information that these events were awesome.

Here in Birmingham, local writers have started blogs like The Jen West Quest and Who Ate My Blog? to document their weight loss journeys. Putting this information on the Internet has allowed them to build a supportive community for their goals and publicly document their progress.

At this point, I’m seriously considering adopting a similar system. Even since my chiropractor diagnosed me with mild scoliosis and an unhealthily tight sacrum and set of shoulders, I have still been skipping workouts. Yoga replaces the muscular pain and stiffness with comfortable soreness, but it also takes time. As I ease into another set of changes to my schedule, I want need to start carving out an hour every few days regardless of what's going on. After all, my doctor mentioned it so it must be important.

I could be a part-time model

When I meet most people for the first time, they tend to notice I'm 6'1". Their first three questions are, without fail, "Did you play basketball?" "Did you play volleyball?" and "Do you model?"

Y'all, stop asking. I lose my balance and am easily disoriented in brightly lit noisy places. There's a reason Adam started calling me Baby Giraffe, and it's not the length of my neck. I didn't even make the school's basketball team in middle school. I started into band and honors/AP classes instead.

Yes, I remember Michael Jordan's story. Yes, I wanted to be the first rocket scientist/WNBA All Star player when I was a kid. And yes, I now recognize that the two careers might be slightly incompatible.

At this point in the conversation, the other party is usually either laughing or edging away nervously. I've found that reactions to this line of questioning are really good for weeding out those who don't belong in my life. They wouldn't last long anyways.

One of the reasons I love social media is that it removes my height entirely from my social interactions. In the online world, my height isn't intimidating. It's not a factor available for judgment. I can be perfectly average until I prove myself witty or otherwise interesting.

It's also easier to make friends through the use of my brain in this medium because I am an ambivert. Though I have no fear of talking to new people and make friends fairly easily, I also require time to myself to remain fully functional. When I get overstimulated on social media, I can simply turn off my computer and the notifications on my phone.

Most people don't take that news as well in person. For some reason, telling people you need to go sit by yourself doesn't make many friends. That said, it's time for me to go drink a "Space Balls"-inspired beer and curl up with a blanket.

Title today from Flight of the Conchords "Most Beautiful Girl In The Room."