Thankful things

Thanksgiving has been one of my favorite holidays for quite some time. Since I began trying to live mindfully of the people I love and things I do, I've found that gratitude for all parts of my life puts everything else in perspective. Suddenly, things that seem overwhelming or frightening become opportunities for growth and development. In that vein, here are some things I'm thankful for:

• Work. I have three jobs I love. They are immensely fulfilling and amazingly fun, pay my rent and allow me to live a rich and full life.
• Deadlines. Though writing challenges me to learn constantly, it also provides me with a solid alternate source of income. Though I have six deadlines coming up within the next week, they are proof that I've made an amazing amount of progress in my career. I can't wait for the stress of this spell of deadlines to be over, but I'm more excited to see the results of this intense spell of writing.
• Friends. My friends are my support system. I'm doubly lucky that I count my coworkers as friends, so I'm able to spend time with my loved ones even when I'm at work. They're amazing.
• Cooking. The Crockpot is my best friend. I'm able to make large batches of relatively healthy food...while I'm writing or bartending or elsewhere. Sharing food is a beautiful way to show love, and large quantities help with that tremendously.
• Family. Outside of my blood relatives, I have developed an amazingly loving family that accepts me totally and completely. Not only that, I have a kind and handsome man to share my life. I am deeply lucky to spend even the tiniest corners of time with my Adam, and can't wait to see what the next years will bring.

What are you grateful for?

Who wears what?

I may work in what I consider stylish or cool fields, but my personal style tends to be anything but. Most of the pieces in my wardrobe were under $50, and most of them are several years old. I take care of my clothing as best I can, but changing shapes a few times from running has rendered even the most form-fitting dresses unflattering. When I find shirts that fit, I buy the same one in several different colors. As a result, my outfits don't vary much from day to day. With the craziness of bartending and writing, I haven't had time to tailor them back into well fitted wardrobe pieces, so much of what I wear is a little baggy.

I'm also cheap. Shopping and spending money are two of my least favorite things, so I stay away from malls and shopping sites as much as possible. When considered along with my height -- I'm 6'1" -- shopping becomes a nightmare. As a result, I've gotten creative with outfit choices.

To be perfectly frank, most of these outfits are held together by fashion-oriented apathy. Call it a bad attitude, but it's what makes my outfits work. That, and buying clothing that fits my body type. Though it often takes days or weeks to find just a few shirts or a pair of pants, anything I buy fits well when I try it on in the store.

Other than that, I don't buy clothes (outside of running duds. You can't let those shoes get too old). In the near future, I'll be replacing some of my dressy black flats that are three years old and falling apart at the seams, but otherwise you won't find me out at the mall. Really though, I need to step up my game -- and my wardrobe. Though it pains me, I should really go shopping sometime soon. Anyone up for taking on a fashion mentee?

Fiercely feminine

Being a woman in the South isn't easy. Social pressures build the image of the perfect woman as demure, witty but not too smart and permanently happy. As the daughter of teachers, I was brought up to believe that living fully required the pursuit of knowledge. Though I was taught respect, I wasn't taught to suppress my opinions to garner public favor or to act any less intelligent than I am. I was brought up to be a nerd, and it's now a comfortable part of my identity.

When I started my first office job, being a woman wasn't easy. Within a month, I had found out that raises and promotions were scarce, and for women they were almost nonexistent. Most of my female coworkers had gotten married straight out of college and their lives revolved around their work and husbands. Yes, there was a significant age difference between us, but our interests rarely overlapped. My main point of connection with the others was through the knitting group that met twice a week. Even though I kept quiet for most of the time to avoid offending anyone, knitting became my camouflage.

Outside of work, knitting has always been a way to befriend other women. I've spent hours detangling yarn over wine while talking about breakups and childhood and friendship and knitting and sometimes nothing. These sessions have taught me patience, grace and meditation. My gentle friends have helped me to relax through and in knitting, teasing me about my tight stitches (seriously, it was ridiculous) and giving me room to adjust into a more comfortable technique.

Most importantly, knitting has taught me friendship. After a rough breakup, one of my friends sat with me while I untangled a lot of yarn. I wasn't talking, but she was showing me a very deep love by being there. As another friend says, "That's what friends do. They sit." For me, knitting with others is sitting. It's a way to be there without the pressure of conversation or convention. It's a space to relax into the motions and to sort out the tangled threads of thought.

Recently, I haven't been knitting. I haven't been spending time with my support network or the beautiful women who taught me so much. It's past time to pick it back up, but time and financial constraints have restricted my ability to do so. With the weather getting colder, there will probably nights in the near future where I curl up with a mug of tea, blanket and my knitting for some well-deserved rest, but for right now, I'll just nap.