Shake it off: Wednesday confessions

After bartending last night, I slept in today. The result: a compulsion to share everything with you and a need for puppy cuddles. To satisfy the second item, I've trapped Tessie on the couch with me. To fulfill the first, I've put together a list of eight things you probably don't need to know about me.

1. I don't like pants. Or clothing in general. Really, it's mostly a hatred of shopping for new clothes when old ones wear out. It's time-consuming, and for a 6'1" woman, expensive. I don't like spending money or judging my body, so shopping is a generally poor experience.

2. I'm clumsy. Adam calls me Baby Giraffe. If I'm leaning on a counter, there's a 40 percent chance I started falling over and tried to make it look cool. I probably shouldn't be allowed to own a high temp glue gun. Oh well. Thanks, Internet!

3. I'm crafty. I love knitting, sewing, and making things by hand. In preparation for the wedding, Adam's helped me make five textured paper balls out of coffee filters, wiffle balls, and hot glue.

4. Taylor Swift's music is catchy. And I don't hate (most of) it.

5. Music Through The Night is rad. In fact, I listen to it on the way home after almost every shift.

6. Vodka isn't my thing. Whiskey and beer are. But if vodka is your spirit of choice, order it proudly -- the most important part of a drinking experience is that you're happy with what you consume.

7. Writing isn't a hobby. It's what gets me out of bed, keeps me moderately sane, and puts my mind in order. It's not a hobby or a passing fancy -- it's my trade. I use that skill to make money.

8. I vote. And I believe that each adult within the U.S. political system has a responsibility to educate themselves on the issues and exercise their political voice, both in and out of the voting booth. With that said, if you exercise your first amendment rights on Facebook approximately 1,293 per week, I maintain the right to hide your posts.

Post title from either the Florence + The Machine song or the Taylor Swift song of the same name.

Cocktail of the hour -- the Moscow Mule

As a disclaimer, the Moscow Mule is the first and will probably be the last vodka drink I feature here. With a name that translates literally as "little water," this colorless and tasteless spirit doesn't add anything to cocktails other than alcohol content. Too many other delicious products exist to focus much energy on a substance that is renowned for its ability to blend in.

Ranting aside, the Moscow Mule is almost solely responsible for making vodka popular. Back in 1934, Rudolf Kunnett bought the rights to a French vodka brand called Smirnoff. Five years later, employee Jack Martin convinced the Heublein Inc. corporation to buy out Kunnett. They then bottled all of the remaining stock with whiskey corks from another unsuccessful venture. Despite its popularity with a certain faction of day drinkers, the product still hadn't caught on by 1946.

At this time, Martin started hanging out in a Hollywood joint called the Cock 'n' Bull Pub. The bar's owner was having an equally bad time trying to sell the spicy ginger beer he had been bottling. When both ingredients were dumped into a copper mug (made by yet another struggling businessman) and a lime wedge squeezed on top, the Moscow Mule was born. Topped with a meaningless but catchy name, this mixed drink was marketed well and helped popularize vodka.

Though we have this drink to blame for the increasingly sweet and artificially fruity vodka drinks that followed, this simple and refreshing concoction may just serve as the gateway to  drinking a Southside or Tom Collins. If that's the case, this vodka drink may just be able to cancel out a little bit of the harm it's done to the popular palate.

Recipe

.5 oz lime juice

2 oz vodka

ginger beer

Squeeze or pour lime juice into a chilled Collins glass or copper mug. Add a few cubes of ice, then add vodka and, if desired, a splash of simple syrup. Fill to the brim with ginger beer and lightly stir to combine. 

Cocktail of the Hour: The Southside

As the story goes, the Southside was named for the South Side of Chicago's bootlegging joints. During Prohibition, citrus and sugar were mixed with bathtub gin to make it drinkable. Even if it wasn't one of the creations of that era, it is still a delicious gimlet variation. In the years since, it has become an institution at many country clubs. Even Tory Burch has claimed a vodka-based version of this drink as her favorite. The version documented in Townsend's The Bartender's Book is gin-based, and the spirit's botanicals add a layer of complexity to the taste. Fortunately, we don't live during Prohibition, and many of the products previously unavailable in Alabama are now here. Experimenting with different gins will yield slight changes in the cocktail's flavor and body, but the citrus and mint are somewhat forgiving.

This beverage is best made while the weather is warm and mint is in season. Since we've only got a few weeks left that meet both requirements, shake one (or few) up for the perfect picnic/tailgating/afternoon tipple.

Recipe:

4-6 mint leaves

1 dash Angostura bitters*

1 oz lime juice

1 oz simple syrup

2 oz gin of your choice

Lightly bruise -- do not pulverize -- mint leaves in the shaker. Add the rest of the ingredients and shake for 10-12 seconds to combine. Strain into a chilled glass.

*Editor's note: the traditional Southside isn't made with bitters, but they add depth of flavor. Try it both ways!