conversation — Blog — Clair McLafferty

During a tutoring session yesterday, I overheard a preliminary interview between a young freelance graphic designer and a businessman. Their conversation included phrases like "Let's keep this in cash, but I won't see you before the first deadline. I don't trust the U.S. Postal Service to deliver anything, much less money, but it's probably our best bet." Several times during their conversation, the businessmen made some statements that would have sent me running for cover. After a few hours, their conversation was still rumbling around the back of my head. To compensate, I made a list of ways to tactfully respond to things that would make me immediately (or slowly) turn tail.

"I'd expect to get minor changes resolved ASAP. Our last in-house designer would take 12 - 24 hours for minor things and that's unacceptable." "Unfortunately, sometimes changes that appear minor on the surface can cause a lot of changes to style or composition. I will do my best to get changes back to you in the timeliest possible fashion."
"I'm not familiar with the software you've used. Can you swap over to [this dissimilar program]?" "Yes, but only if you're willing to pay for the cost of the program and a slight fee to learn it.
"If we give you a check, we'll have to send you a 1099." "If this contract extends to less than $600, a 1099 is not required by the IRS. Though it's a pain in the butt, those forms also allow me to write off related expenses."
"I'd really rather pay you in cash." "That will work, but I will require a written contract, half of the total amount before I begin the project and the other half at the time of completion. Are you available on [this date] to meet to discuss the particulars of the arrangement?"
"Awlright, sweetheart." *dead eyed stare.* "Is there anything else you'd like to discuss?"

It's fitting that my blog's birthday falls on the day where the Blog Like Crazy prompt is to talk about your beliefs. See Clair Write has become an outgrowth of those, and I love working to show them plainly.

For me, trust and belief go hand in hand. These internal markers are an excellent way to flesh out the relationships and conversations I have with others. As I've said before, I'm a compulsive list maker. Things as personal as beliefs are no different. Here are some random ones of mine:

Cocktails are cultural artifacts. Whether through their origins, backstories or associations, cocktails are a great way to connect with the bright -- and sordid -- moments in our collective history. In a contemporary setting, asking a bartender about a drink's name can spark hours of discussion about their history (or the bar's).
I'm a nerd. A huge, flaming, Doctor Who and Sherlock watching, China Mieville reading, football enjoying, drink mixing, cosplaying, music snobby nerd. I can talk for hours about all of these things. However, I'm also nerdy because I keep friends with a lot of people who are outside these fandoms because they have something to teach me and vice versa. It's part of why I fell in love with Adam.
When I stop learning, I will die. Overdramatic statement? Maybe, but it's pretty much the truth. Anytime I stop reading or research or writing for more than a day, I feel much less alive. I hadn't realized how much I missed reading fiction until I read my friend Cecilia Dominic's book The Mountain Shadow in two days.
I judge our friendship through hugs. I love hugs. They're a good barometer of how trusting and trustworthy an individual is. Though I understand that there's a boundary of not forcing too much physical contact on someone, a bear hug will almost always go a longer ways than a side-hug-slash-pat-on-the-back.
Respect, respect, respect. Chances are that we don't see eye to eye on everything and are unlikely to change each others' minds on topics such as religion, politics, sex, etc. Judgment isn't going to win over my heart and mind. If we can't discuss them civilly or intellectually, we won't discuss them at all.
Conversation is hugely important. Since the filter between my brain and mouth resembles a sieve, we're probably going to end up talking about religion, politics, sex, etc. I'm always fascinated by others' backgrounds and opinions...until they degenerate into proselytization or judgment. If it gets to that point, I'm out.