To Birmingham:

Dear Birmingham,

I’ve been studiously ignoring the “write blog post” item on my to-do list for weeks. The idea of trying to put words to what you’ve meant to me over the past 22 years is more than challenging, to put it lightly. When coupled with seemingly endless packing and planning a road trip to find my new home, it feels even heavier.

You’ve been my home since I started third grade. I’ve gotten to watch as you’ve filled your flaws with gold and iron, and it’s been magical to see you grow and mature. All the major milestones in my life have happened here: school, first love, college, first job, adopting my precious angel puppers, first (and second) books, marriage, divorce, and everything else.

You’re the city where I grew up, that taught me what love looks like when it’s healthy — and when it isn’t. You brought me the community that lifts me up when I fall. I learned to bartend here, and have spent hundreds of hours in deep conversation with people from all walks of life over food and drink. A short walk with my dogs can take a long time because sometimes, Birmingham, you just…happen.

You happen because you’re made up of some of the most wonderful humans on Earth. Conversations with them have challenged me to do better, to be better, and to treat other people better. My roots are here, and the community that has grown from them is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined.

But I’ve called you the biggest small town on Earth for a reason. You can feel claustrophobic: I rarely go a week without running into someone who’s known me for more than 15 years. Hell, I never meant to fall for you, but something about seeing the sunset behind your silhouette gets me. You will always be home, but it’s time for me to set out on a new adventure.

This isn’t a final farewell. I’ll be back pretty frequently, especially this year, and can’t wait to see how you’ve done. I will miss you dearly.

Love always,

Clair

I get by with a little help from my friends

Last year, one of my favorite posts for Blog Like Crazy was about the power of female friendship. Though the majority of 2013 has been better than 2012, it's been friends of both genders who have made sure I stayed as sane as possible. They have shown me what love can add to even the fullest life and have embraced me and all my flaws.

The people I call friends have been amazingly supportive during my transition out of 9-to-5s that I hated. They were encouraging and loving, but if I was miserable and wouldn't admit it, they were more than willing to give me the kick in the ass that I desperately needed. It's been this strength and high set of standards that's lead me to demand more for myself and my life.

Bartending is a largely male-dominated field, and here in the South that can mean that women in the industry are held to a different standard. It's not easy, but it's satisfying and surprisingly intellectual work that adds layers and layers of complexity to what would appear to be a straightforward basic skill set. At Octane, I was the first woman to successfully complete the barbacking process at Octane, and am one of only a handful of female craft bartenders in the city.

My female friends especially have been my biggest cheerleaders in starting to bartend, so it's been amazingly refreshing to be able to pass along that support. Jack Wyrick, one of my incredibly talented photog/blogging/creative/handy friends (if you don't know her work, check out this and this), started at Octane this past Saturday. Seeing her focused on learning and joking around with people made me proud and excited for the future of the food industry and, more importantly, my friends here in Birmingham.

Y'all, it's important to earn money, but it's just as important to make a life instead of a living. My friends have pushed me even when it wasn't comfortable financially or psychologically to work towards what would make me happy, not what would provide benefits or a set 401K. Their support in hard times has gotten me through any and all obstacles in my way. They enrich my life with their stories and their advice, and I can't really and truly can't thank them enough.

Profession vs. personality

Professionally, my life is split between two extremes. As a freelance writer, I sit on my couch and translate my thoughts into words that are published on websites, blogs and print. These jobs challenge the boundaries of what I think I can write and continuously expand my horizons. I'm alone when I write, but I'm seldom lonely.

Most days, I leave my apartment only to run or to go to work. In the past months, running has become an exercise in pacing both my strides and my life. It's not always something I do well, but I keep trying. I have more energy when I run, and am more able to tackle all of the challenges thrown my way.

When I'm behind the bar, I step it up. I drink more tea and if I'm really tired, some espresso to keep my energy levels high. I joke, banter, tell stories, talk to customers/friends and keep moving. If I'm in motion, I'm awake and can keep the momentum going. It's fast-paced, hospitality-oriented and way different from anything else I've done.

I've found recently that I'm having more trouble recharging after my shifts. Whether it's exhaustion, an inconsistent sleep schedule, lack of exercise or overstimulation, I can't seem to get rested. Though I've put a plan into effect to get back to regular exercise and have started blocking off time to read. After deleting Candy Crush, this plan seems to be working. My energy levels are slightly higher, and I have finally worked through my to do list.

Next week, I'm looking forward to more time to myself. I'll also be putting together a Halloween costume and getting ready to start the November #bloglikecrazy challenge. Though it'll add daily blogging to my to do list, I'm looking forward to getting back in the habit of writing and taking time out for my blog each day. As well, sitting down with my writing every day will give me the chance to evaluate my priorities as a freelancer. I may not like what I find, but it'll make me more honest.

Until then, I'm going to keep on working towards balancing my work obligations and personal needs. Right now, it's time to read.

Have any advice for balancing your personality type with job expectations? Leave them in the comments!

Dress like a freelancer

When I quit my office job, I spent the first couple days surfing the web for writing inspiration. After three days, I had exhausted my patience for silly memes. Before transitioning to full-on writing, I combed my hair and changed into slacks and blouse. I didn't change my workspace or routine, but dressing professionally made me feel like I was on the clock.

Psychologically, putting on comfortable but professional clothing can signal your brain and body that it's time for work. When you change out of your pajamas, you're able to stop resting and start knocking out tasks on your to-do list. Since minimizing distractions is crucial in succeeding as a freelancer of any kind, taking all possible steps to delineate work time from play time is essential.

By dressing up, you're enforcing a small measure of self-accountability. When practiced on a regular basis, it can help increase productivity and focus. If you surf the web for cat pictures instead of potential pitches, you're wasting your own valuable time. I've found that it's much more difficult to justify an hour spent on Pinterest or Facebook when I have set goals for the day's writing.

That said, my one pair of dress slacks is more comfortable any of my jeans. As a result, I'm more comfortable in business casual. By dressing up, I'm also able to schedule and attend last minute meetings away from my couch. More importantly, as I build my freelance base, learning how to define the border between work and personal time will be absolutely crucial to maintaining my passions -- and my sanity.

Balancing all of these aspects of my life will be tricky, but it will be doable with practice and support. Luckily, if any of these gets too overwhelming, I will take a step back and rest. All the freelance pitches will still be out in the world tomorrow -- and so will the cat pictures.

If you freelance, do you dress up to go to work?