Stock the Bar (It’s ALIVE!)

Lots of things have happen since I last posted. It’s been a tumultuous time, and I hope to get back to posting about different local and national organizations that do amazing work in the community and world.

As I’ve mentioned before, self-care is a hugely necessary part of any and all social justice work. For me, that means a bath, hot cup of tea, or some sort of boozy tipple. Sometimes, it even means writing about something that will bring joy to others’ taste buds. Like my new book (that was subtle)! It’s called The Classic & Craft Cocktail Recipe Book, and it’s available on Amazon and, of course, from me.

It also occasionally means being silly with my friends. You may recall that David Griner and I did a couple of fun posts matching stock photo characters with what I would serve them if they walked into my bar. Given that I’m pretty sure one of these did walk into my bar last Halloween, I feel like I have a bit more experience than usual with this set. Without further ado:

mermaidAttina, Ariel’s sister, will probably need something refreshing and relatively low proof, given that I’m pretty sure mermaids die if they dry out. Since she’s already obsessed with bubbles, I’d fix her an Aperol Spritz. It’s the perfect thing to make her feel like she’s part of this world.

secret-formula
Next Halloween, I plan to dress up as a mad mixologist: lab coat, goggles, beaker of craft cocktail or PBR and a what-the-hell-are-you-drinking attitude. But this dude will need a drink before then or his brain might turn to mush from all that math. At my bar, I’d serve a Rob Roy, sometimes called a Scotch Manhattan, with several extra napkins: he’ll either forget his drink and knock it over (my M.O.) or need them to scribble down a flash of brilliance.

alt-right
Is it too soon to make an Alt-Right Barbie joke? In any case, off-brand Lara Croft here would get a Whistlepig whiskey and Buffalo Rock ginger ale. You know, mixing something that has a great tag line and all-American branding but is actually made outside the U.S. with something made locally.

sexy-cleopatraTo start, I dig her outfit, and would tell her so. Based on the mod rags, I’d serve her a Harvey Wallbanger (basically a Screwdriver with a float of Galliano) with a giant fruit garnish and an Austin Powers dance. Cheers, bay-bee.

merlins-beard
A wizard walks into a bar…I’ve been waiting a while to use that joke. But someone as fancy as this guy deserves an absolutely magical cocktail. Like a Zombie variation with a flaming lime shell, served with a friendly “YER A WIZARD, LARRY!” to top it off. Even if it was a quiet Tuesday.

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